Who said finding a partner is easy? Sometimes we are luckier, other times it can be more complicated, and especially as the years go by it gets worse. Date in your 30s?
Sometimes this doesn’t necessarily have to do with age, you’re still young — yes, believe me, it is. The point is that as the years go by, you are already accumulating experiences — unfortunately sometimes worse than good — and that’s when things get more complicated.
Finding a partner in your 30s, especially when you just got over a separation or divorce — and you also have kids — is like finding a needle in a haystack.
But don’t worry, you can!
It is true that it is not so easy to get a “good” man at our age, but we still have time to do it. Let the game begin!
Here are some truths about finding a partner in your 30s that you should not miss.
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1. Those of 30 prefer them young
Girls, it’s not just us who are going through the age crisis. They too, therefore they will think very well before getting a person of the same age, or more.
Right now, they are thinking, “Hey! My sperm is also getting old, I think it’s time to settle down”. And when they do, they’ll be looking for a 25-year-old, because somehow this makes them feel younger.
But don’t be discouraged, they don’t all think the same. In fact, the right person won’t worry about the age at all.
You are beautiful, intelligent, successful, and you just have to think that in all these years you have only accumulated experience, maturity and knowledge. When you come across “that” person, you will realize that in romantic relationships, there is no age that can limit love.
2. And the young boys love you
AHA! In your 30s you are still young enough to be considered a very sexy woman, but probably because of your age, some people think you are engaged.
So, the moment you change your Facebook status Boom! You will have a list of guys waiting for you. And it is that the boys of 20 are waiting for a sensual “teacher” to teach them about life, and above all, about sex. It’s so cliché!
And it is that some boys of 20, especially when they are on the way to 30, are tired of looking for immature relationships with girls their age.
At some point, they begin to think that it is time to start a family and they may be much more attracted to people like you than to those their age.
This is not negative at all, you just have to be very cautious and look for a person with whom you share your same interests, lifestyle and goals, you also don’t want to become a babysitter!
3. You are intimidating
People are full of prejudices, but at this point, it’s even funny, because it turns out that for many people your age, having children, a stable job, your own home, your own car, and more can be very intimidating.
For some men, your age is summed up as being a woman who is mature and wise enough. This makes you sexier.
But also, in some way, if they haven’t managed to achieve the same goals as you, it can turn out to be very intimidating. They will think that you are more demanding and worse, they may feel inferior to you.
4. The female biological clock is real
If you are looking for a partner in your 30s and you do not have children yet, surely you will feel great additional pressure because you are thinking, of course, that as the years go by, the chances that you can have children are reduced.
It’s hard not to think about it, and it’s a real fear. But we are no longer in the time of our parents or grandparents, where women began to have children from the age of 17. Times have changed and even many women, even with a stable partner, have children after 30.
Worrying about it won’t change things, and if you can’t have children, there will always be other options, like adopting or renting a womb.
5. Having a child can be difficult
This must be one of the biggest concerns for women seeking a mate in their 30s.
Why? If you are in that situation, you know the answer well: “Will that person wants to go out with me if he knows I have a child?”, “Will he treat my son well?” “Will my son accept it?” There are many questions we ask ourselves.
They are real concerns because there are many men who are not willing to assume the consequences of dating a woman who already has a child, this means giving her affection, dealing with the child’s father and in some cases submitting to social pressure.
My recommendation is that you don’t limit yourself to hanging out with people, have fun! But your kids don’t have to meet him until you think he’s the one.
6. You know what you want
It doesn’t always apply to all women, but usually, by the time you’ve passed the 30 lines, you’re much further on your way in life.
You know well what you want in a person and this also means having fewer dates, because you are much more demanding. You are not here to waste your time.
At 20, you’re still starting to get to know life, guys, and form your own expectations. But, when you have already gone through several relationships, and especially through a separation or divorce process, you want to be much more careful when choosing your partner.
Now you think about starting a family and not making the same mistakes of the past, you are risking your future and the possibility of being with the right person, who can accompany you throughout your life.
7. Most of your friends are already married
We all have an accomplice friend, the one who does everything to get you a partner. Your adventure companions! The one who accompanies you every Friday night to a bar or to the disco and Best Places in search of the ideal man.
But oh! Now almost all of your friends are married or engaged, and suddenly you find yourself alone in what was once a fun game of partying and “hunting” boys. Now your friends change diapers and go out to the park on Sundays.
8. Candidates, Next!
If you’ve been dating guys, or if you’ve heard your friends do it, you will realize how complex it is sometimes to get a man.
Suddenly each one has a different problem, they come hurt from past relationships, or full of rancour, distrust and all kinds of prejudices about women.
And if not, the worst of all, those who seek to have an ideal life in the style of Charlie Harper, from Two and a Half Men, the single forever, who will only look for you to flirt or have sex and never call you again.
9. The 40s look closer and closer
As the decades go by, new fears come with it. When we were 20, 30 were still a long way off, and as we got closer, we started thinking about new responsibilities: becoming independent, getting an ideal job, our own home, getting married, etc.
But now that you’re 30 and still single, 40 can seem increasingly terrifying.
It is as if suddenly, your love and sexual life are reaching the expiration date. This is mainly due to the great social pressure that exists regarding these issues, and although I will not lie to you, you already know that it is difficult, especially if you read all the points above.
It’s really all about attitude. Age is just a number.
Are you in a similar situation? Did you feel identified with at least two of the previous points? If so, welcome to the tedious task of looking for a man in your 30s. Hey! I said tedious, not impossible.
You know what? In particular, I prefer to take it with some humor and not worry so much about what will happen if I do not find a partner. There is always someone waiting for you! And sometimes it comes when you least expect it. Enjoy the present for now and make the best of it.
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