Whether it comes from the man or the woman or both, jealousy is an integral part of love stories. But from one couple to another, it varies a lot.
- Overview of the concept of jealousy
- Moderate jealousy
- Excessive jealousy
- Jealousy yes, but self-control first
- The spice to revive the relationship
Overview of the concept of jealousy
No need to bother with encyclopedic definitions to know what jealousy is, because we all experience it on a daily basis or almost. The jealousy is this feeling that we created a pinch when the person to whom we seem to show more signs of proximity with another person.
Depending on whether these signs are more or less harmless, according to our degree of attachment to the person, or even according to our intrinsic personality, the intensity of this feeling can then be more or less high.
Do you ogle the back of the pretty waitress at the restaurant who has just placed your order on your table? Madame will certainly look grim, she is jealous!
Do you interrogate your sweetheart because one of her friends calls her too often? Your tone of voice is a bit harsh, you are jealous! But once this jealousy is triggered, it does not manifest itself in the same way from one person to another.
Without beating around the bush, this is probably the “best” form of jealousy. It turns out to be a globally measured emotion, which we manage to control and which spices up the relationship. In fact, to the jealous person, it reminds him that she has an attachment for the other.
In the partner, it gives rise to a certain joy, a certain satisfaction, from knowing that the other cares for him / her. Typically, when this form of jealousy kicks in, it is always for a good reason. Arguments can then arise, more or less intense depending on the trigger and the personality of the two partners.
Insults can spring from everywhere; more rarely, two or three objects can fly in the air.
In any case, it is generally up to the partner at fault to know how to appease the other and to remind him of his place. Often, it all ends under the duvet in a devouring clinch. The person at fault apologizes, then life resumes its normal course, sometimes even with additional reconciliation.
Did you say “normal course”? This is precisely what does not exist in the case of excessive jealousy; let’s speak rather of a sick jealousy. The jealous or the jealous constantly has the impression that the other is going to break up. As a result, the office colleague who calls at 7 o’clock in the evening to recall a forgotten file has already called at too late an hour; the aunt that we go to see too often is suspicious and certainly has a doubtful fondness for young people.
Even your cousin, who you grew up with and who is like a sister to you, is likely to tear you away from her. She hunts down the slightest suspicious trail of infidelity on your clothes as soon as you get home, she searches your pockets as soon as your back is turned and uses all the ploys to get your phone password and access your communications. Clearly, she is paranoid.
With such a description, you therefore understand that it is not a normal emotion triggered by a certain situation. It is an obsessive emotion, constantly present, and which then makes the relationship a real hell.
On a daily basis, it is almost impossible to live in peace with a person suffering from unhealthy jealousy. So, either you go see a specialist to help him or you find a way to become a therapist and put in place a solid calming strategy. There isn’t much you can do besides that.
If your efforts are unsuccessful, and if you then lose all stimulation to the relationship, you have the right to go.
Jealousy yes, but self-control first
There is no denying that jealousy has positive sides when measured. She can sometimes re-launch a relationship that was sinking into a routine; awaken feelings that were beginning to die out, etc.
However, it can only have such positive effects if the partners both know how to exercise some self-control. Even if madam suspects the infidelities of sir, she does not need to go to her work to make a scandal.
If the gentleman thinks that his wife is too beautiful when she goes to meet certain partners in his company, it is not necessarily necessary for him to start accompanying him everywhere.
Moreover, if a situation leads to a scene of jealousy, the one of the two partners who is at fault must quickly recognize that he / she is at fault and make sure to calm his lover(s).
It is therefore this ability to control oneself, which both partners can demonstrate, which will make it possible to get the best out of a conflict created by jealousy.
The spice to revive the relationship
Any romantic relationship spans three main stages.
There is of course the beginning. At this time, the interest of the partners for each other is intense. They want to spend all their days together, they want to go to the movies, do all kinds of activities to strengthen ties. Side sex, it is a real training for the Olympic Games of sex; no stop!
Then comes the middle or middle phase of the resolution; from time to time, everyone wants to have their own moment of solitude, we still like each other but we get bored from time to time and we no longer necessarily try to do everything together .
Finally, we give it to you in thousand, comes the fall or the end of the relationship. The feelings have totally declined. We don’t really support each other anymore and we often think of breaking up.
In the middle or at the end, if a situation of jealousy arises, everything can be restarted!