Wooing a woman is not easy. Basically, there are two alternatives to start the seduction process.
The first (and the most common) is to do it openly, expressing your intentions to establish something more than friendship with her.
This first strategy has the advantage of being more direct, aggressive, and fast. But it also has the disadvantages that you will be subjected to more pressure and demands from her (after all, you want to impress her, right?)
And what if she is not looking for a love relationship? In that case, you can chase her away forever.
If part of your strategy requires her not to realize, at least initially, that you are trying to steal her heart, you should opt for the second alternative: do it in a subtle way, without ever making your intentions explicit.
Slowly approach her in a way that she will notice you little by little and you begin to like her without her knowing that she likes you too.
The advantage of this system is that you can use it with girls who for some reason or another would turn away from open attempts at dating.
On the other hand, there is the fact that it is a somewhat slower process and you risk falling indefinitely in the horrible “friendzone”.
In this article, then, we are going to explore this strategy and tell you how to avoid falling into its most common pitfalls.
How to seduce a girl by becoming her friend?
The title says it all. Basically, the idea is to become her best friend and then bring her to the point where she realizes that there is no valid reason not to go out with you.
But before we begin, it is very important to point out the differences between the friend strategy and the friendzone.
Differences with the friendzone
The reality is that although they are completely different things, what begins as a friend strategy, may well end in an ugly stalemate in the “friend zone.”
But we’ll get to that later. Also, on rare occasions, a boy who enters the friendzone can use it as a stepping stone to climb into the seduction zone.
The main difference is that in the friend’s strategy you voluntarily decide not to establish an obvious conquest relationship, but that does not mean that you are not in control of things all the time.
People stuck in the friendzone, on the other hand, cannot exercise direct seduction not because they don’t want to, but because they don’t dare or don’t know how to.
The friend’s strategy makes us go through these stages before our eyes:
- 1st: Acquaint the people who likeher
- 2nd: Be friend the people she has an incredible time with
- 3rd: Become a special friend whom she can rely upon
- 4th: Become the man of her life
And the “friend zone” follows more or less this sequence:
- Known that you like her
- A friend with whom she has an incredible time
- Super special friend with a unique connection
- Her soul brothers
At the end of the article, we will dig deeper to avoid falling into the traps of the friendzone. Now we will see what are the steps to follow so that the friend’s strategy truly gives good results:
Be truly her friend
And no, we do not mean that you “pretend” that you are her friend. If it’s something that you can’t do and establish a true friendship with her, it doesn’t seem worth it just to get what you ultimately want.
We suggest that you give up your futile attempts on trying to impress everyone and make room only for someone who is worthwhile.
Here the point is as simple and as simple cultivating a friendship as great as any other. Spend time together, do things you both like, discover your mutual interests.
Begin to develop your private language from jokes that only you understand. The goal here is to build bulletproof privacy slowly and naturally.
Also, don’t neglect the sense of humor factor. You have to be that person with whom she spends hours and hours laughing non-stop until her stomach hurts.
You know that you are doing well if she has a boyfriend/girlfriend and it is more and more frequent that he is jealous that she is with you.
You are always there to be compared, and you win
If the girl of your dreams has a boyfriend/girlfriend, it is probably for that reason that you have opted for the friend strategy. Having a current relationship is not the end of the world. What’s more, it’s something you can use to your advantage.
The first thing you have to know is that you cannot speak ill of the boyfriend/girlfriend in question, because that would reveal your intentions and put her on the defensive side.
Instead, identify what are the most frequent problems she has with the person and act on the basis of:
If, for example, she complains that her boyfriend/girlfriend is rude, treat her with great delicacy always. If she suspects that you are unfaithful, stay completely open, even show her that you have no problem in getting your cell phone checked.
If she complains, for example, that her partner has vices, let her see that you are much healthier. Or if she complains that he/she always takes her to the same places, make a list of original and fun outings,
The point is that she starts comparing you to her partner and you always come out ahead.
Give her details that she does not expect
If you arrive with flowers or a box of chocolates, it will be very evident that you want to conquer her.
But if you arrive with tickets to a concert of a band that she likes, or with a book/article that she mentioned weeks ago in the store, or fix any leaky faucets of her apartment which she complained about days ago, you will be giving her details that show that you care about her well-being.
The advantage is that these details are not overtly romantic. It could have a brother, a father, a friend, etc. who could have done these chores but by you taking an active part in her daily life will make her feel comfortable, safe, and protected around you.
Give real compliments
If she has beautiful eyes or a beautiful body, rest assured that she already knows it and you are not saying anything original.
Rather than buttering her with cheap flattery that will also make your intentions clear and put you in a vulnerable position, skip them altogether until you have something profound and meaningful to say.
In this way, you kill two birds with one stone. One, you pique her curiosity and pride (what girl doesn’t like to be flattered?).
Two, you open up the opportunity for a real emotional connection when you tell her at a critical moment, for example, if she has a problem, that she is one of the smartest people you know and that you are confident that she will solve the problem.
Since you don’t jump at any opportunity of bogus flattery, she’ll know that this is a sincere compliment that has nothing to do with her physique, and she’ll appreciate it immensely.
Do you like me or do you I don’t like him/her? Leave her in doubt. Surely when you get to the point where you are already great friends, the occasional look or act has given you away a bit. But it’s okay because that sows doubt and makes her think about you.
She can try several things to try to find out her true feelings. From getting closer to you to getting to the point and asking you directly. So, you need to always have an emergency exit ready. The one that works best is humor.
For example, if she asks you directly if you are in love with her, instead of looking away or blabbing awkwardly, grab her by the cheeks and yell yes as if it were all a joke. With this, you need to be careful about the tone in which the conversation goes because you don’t want her to shut off emotionally from you.
Have a life and do not be 100% available
It might be your ultimate dream to be with her but it should not be revealed as your only goal in life. For these moments to be of quality, you must have a separate life that allows you to be interesting, have funny stories and anecdotes to tell.
Showing her that you are a person who cultivates your own interests is great. The more exciting your life is, the more she will want to share it with you.
Respect it 100%
This can be the most complex part of the friend’s strategy. But it is the most important one. By respecting her 100% we mean that you never try a physical approach with her out of place. And especially if she is dating someone else.
In this case, the initiative must always be taken by her. Although it’s not about avoiding physical contact completely either because that would feel unnatural. Here are some brief examples of what is acceptable from time to time and what is not:
Acceptable (from time to time):
- Push an arm around your shoulder if you are watching a movie
- Soothe her by holding her hand if she is under stress
- Hug her briefly
- Let her rest her weary head on your shoulder
- Try to hold her hand while they walk
- Kiss her too close to the corner of her lips
- Try to steal a kiss
- Make the hugs too “intense”
Any of the latter can spoil weeks or months of strategy, so keep a cool head.
Let me take the initiative
If you have done everything right, it is very likely that at some point she will not be able to control herself anymore and will throw herself into your arms.
We only recommend that you do not let go immediately to confess that you always loved her and were waiting for that moment. Play a bit difficult to get. If she has a boyfriend and she suddenly steals a kiss from you in the middle of a walk in the park, you should act differently.
Accept the kiss and answer it with enthusiasm, but leave before she does. Explain that you feel bad for doing that and that you do not establish relationships behind anyone’s back. Give her some space to clear her head before calling quits on the other relationship and starting a new one with you.
This will leave you as a hero in her eyes, especially if you make it clear to her that you are deeply in love with her and that is why you will always behave as a man of principle. And ready.
You just have to sit and wait for their relationship to end and she will come running back to your arms.
Detect her most vulnerable moment and go with everything!
If too much time passes and she does not dare to take the first step, but you detect that it is the right moment, then do not walk with half measures.
Show her your love with something drastic and surprise her. Do you remember about the concert? So hit an epic kiss in the middle of her favorite song. We guarantee that she will never forget it.
Danger to avoid in the friend’s strategy
Yes, we know. It all starts with friendship, but what you cannot allow to let happen is becoming her best friend since this will destroy all the possibilities of dating.
Become a friend but NOT a “best friend” or “almost siblings.” So be very attentive to what we are telling you here.
A) Falling into the friendzone
This is the main danger that you should avoid. When she starts treating you as a “brother” you are at a standstill.
To avoid the friend zone, you have to keep the interest alive by having a life of your own, hanging out with other people, and not being available all the time as her lap dog. You are her friend, not her baby.
B) That it takes longer than expected
This can happen especially if she is in a relationship, and it will depend on how serious she is or how much in love she is. You should be aware that using the friend’s strategy takes time, especially if she is in a very dependent or intense relationship.
The stronger your bond with another person, the longer it will take to build a similar one with them. But still, everything has its limits.
If you have waited a long time and still things do not progress, dare to tell her upfront what you feel. In the worst case, an outright refusal will allow you to move on to other things.
C) Let a jerk arrive and snatch it from you
It’s super common for the girl of your dreams to end up dating a jerk, even though you’ve been there for a long time offering your support and love. Be careful, because this is one of the most frequent symptoms of the dreaded friendzone.
If you see competition, don’t encourage or try to fight it. When she asks what you think, just respond with a grimace that says something like “it’s your decision and I’m not going to get into your life.”
So when she starts to be disappointed in him/her, she will realize that you were always right.
The friend’s strategy requires a lot of patience, control, tact, and good intentions. If you meet the requirements, go ahead! And Good Luck!
Do not forget to leave us your comments and share this article, so that other guys like you know how to court a real lady, Bridgerton style 😉