How to Get a Girlfriend: 20 Steps For Him to choose You

31 Mins read

Know the sequence of steps you take to get a girlfriend by becoming the most obvious option so that she chooses you instead of all the options she has.

In this article, you will not find the classic advice to “have more confidence in yourself” or “talk to more women” because we assume that you already know them and maybe they have not worked for you.

You’ll find 20 proven steps you can take now to attract the woman you want and make her want to become your partner. Pay attention to strategy and follow it at every stage to be successful to win a woman.

How to get a girlfriend? Part I: Meeting Girls

This guide is divided into three parts: meet girls, get dates and make a relationship. Let’s go to the first steps to have a successful first meeting and get your girl.

1. Stop trying to get a girlfriend

As counterintuitive as it sounds, the first and most important step in finding a girlfriend is to stop trying. Instead, put expectations completely aside whenever you meet someone.

When women find out that you are looking for a girlfriend, they walk away like you have leprosy. When you don’t really care, they start to stalk you. That’s how it works. We are not making it up.

Most men lose common sense a bit in front of a woman they like, but if you keep calm and don’t reflect that you are desperate for a relationship, you will stand out from the rest and that will automatically make you more socially attractive.

Men like a challenge. Women like “special”. So, when a man is decidedly not going through life looking for dating opportunities, they immediately want that boy.

2. Get their attention

Clothing, accessories, tattoos, even personality, are all lures designed to attract the attention of certain people. What kinds of elements will attract the attention of the type of difficult woman you want to conquer?

While still being yourself, you need to become the best version of yourself and carefully choose one or two elements that help you stand out. Some dark glasses. A leather jacket. A woven bracelet. The alternatives are thousands. But don’t overdo it, you don’t want to look like a Christmas tree either.

And the same goes for personality. You don’t have to be loud. You want to get their attention in a subtle way so that it never shows that that’s the goal.

3. Prepare to approach her

Before you make the first approach move, get rid of all expectations, both positive and negative. Do not approach thinking either that she is going to be the mother of your children, or that she is going to reject you immediately .

If you don’t, those preconceptions will influence the first contact in one way or another, and what you need is for it to flow naturally, relaxed and spontaneously.

You must also let go of fear and Come Forward to a Woman and not be Rejected. Here are some twists you can take advantage of to turn an excuse for not getting close into a pretext to do it as soon as possible:

  • It doesn’t make sense for me to go over to talk to her, she won’t be interested in me = I should go over to talk to her, she looks bored and maybe I can entertain her for a while.
  • She’s completely out of my league = I’ll go find out if she’s as funny as I am.
  • You probably only like tall and handsome guys = Maybe in addition to looking good on the outside, you may have an interesting conversation. I’ll go find out.

All of this will help you neutralize negative anticipations without creating unrealistic expectations that can leave you feeling disappointed.

4. Approach without causing mistrust

Now that you are mentally and emotionally ready, it’s time to get closer to her, and your attitude is everything. Something that women hate is when a man approaches with intentions of dating and when they do not see an immediate response, they begin to be sarcastic, ironic, aggressive or pedantic. Basically you must know how to Approach a Woman .

Do not approach with a passive-aggressive strategy. Try to make her laugh from the beginning and if you can’t, be humble. Smile, relax, use body language that is expressive but doesn’t come across as invasive.

As you talk to her, monitor that your tone of voice is neither too high nor too low. Pronounce correctly and make sure she understands the first sentence you say to the first.

Avoid hackneyed introductions like “sorry,” “excuse me,” or “friend.” You don’t have to apologize for anything and she’s not your friend yet. How about a simple, genuine and cautious “hello”? Always smiling and respecting your personal space.

Avoid touching her, much less without her noticing that you have approached. Nobody likes, least of all women, that a stranger takes those trusts, even if it is by drawing their attention with a finger on their shoulder.

The only exception to this rule is when they are in an environment that is too loud for you to get their attention with words alone, like a concert or a crowded bar.

5. Keep the compliments genuine and rare


And after the “hello” what? The best way to lose her interest, unless you look like Brad Pitt in his prime or Jason Momoa, is to tell him any of the following:

  • You are very pretty (surely, she already knows and they have already told her a thousand times)
  • You caught my attention (that is evident, otherwise you would not have approached. Do not be redundant)
  • What is your name? (It would be good if before questioning her you explain why you fenced off)
  • You seem like an interesting woman (This is a very general pretext. Better tell her what you found interesting about her)

Phrases that can help you open a conversation and make her feel comfortable to have to always go according to the context, because it is not the same to approach a girl alone at a party, one who is snooping through the shelves of a library or one who is reading a book in a cafe.

  • Hi there! You seem kind of boring. I do not judge you. Do you want us to get bored together for a while?
  • I hate to interrupt you, but, I couldn’t help but notice that you are reading a Kundera book. He’s one of my favorite authors. Would you mind if I invited you to share your opinions?
  • Surely you come to get a book and not a friend, but maybe we will not coincide again. So: Hi! I’m Luis. What is your name?

6. joke with her

Humour is one of the best ways to create sexual tension between two people, especially when you show that you are not afraid to joke about the situation, which is obviously courtship.

Rather than taking it too solemnly, let him see that this is a fun game that you want to play together.

Understanding how this dynamic works can be very complex for some kids because it requires a very special balance between annoying a little, surprising and at the same time making it clear that it is a joke, so we will analyze it with three practical examples:

Example 1:


I like the cats


  1. I hate cats: Incorrect
  2. I love cats: wrong
  3. Seriously? Me too! What’s more, they are my favourite dish: Correct

Example 2:


I spend a lot of time reading


  1. Reading? How boring. Don’t you have something better to do? Incorrect
  2. I also! I love to read… books are my life: Incorrect
  3. So, it is not enough for you to be pretty. You are so conceited that you also want to be cultured: Correct

Example 3:


I’m studying psychology


  1. And apart from going to waste time at school, what do you do? Incorrect
  2. Really? Let’s see what day of these you give me a therapy: Incorrect
  3. How good! You’re used to dealing with crazy people by now, so it’s as if you already know me: Right

The examples above show you that agreeing completely with everything she says or does is not a good strategy, and neither is confronting her in a rude or petulant way. The jokes you do have to carry an unspoken compliment to her.

7. Make her the main topic of the conversation

Listening to her carefully and getting her to feel the centre of the conversation is a great way to get opportunities to joke with her and also to generate new topics to keep her wanting to continue talking to you.

It’s no secret that women like to feel interesting. So engeniate them so that the talk looks like a dance: you wear it, but she looks.

In addition, when you focus the conversation on her, you are much less likely to make misjudgements and make wrong movements, since it leaves you space to analyze her body language, her tastes and her expectations while she talks about herself.

When it comes to talking about yourself, never lose sight of the fact that women like funny men, but men who are funny and also a bit mysterious drive them crazy. Do not give more information than is strictly necessary and create a bit of mystery.

If she takes the bait, she will insist and that will be the perfect pretext to ask for her number and to be able to continue chatting through messages or on a date.

If you also want to know How to be Desired by a Woman at the Start of a Relationship?

8. Get her number

If you’ve already made her laugh once or twice, chances are she will give you her number if you ask. Or at least add you to Facebook. Do not make the mistake of letting her go because you did not dare to take the phone or she from you. This is much more common than you might think.

Usually, the phone exchange is the part that closes the first meeting. Also, it’s a good start if you feel like you got off to a good start, but are starting to run out of ideas or suddenly get nervous.

Just tell her that you have to go now but that you would like to continue talking with her. Do it naturally. Even if you don’t really have to go anywhere, or are at the same party or bar, it is good that after reaching this goal you retire to talk with your friends or interact with other people, so you give them space and do not show an excess of interest.

For example, if you are at a wedding, you chatted with her for a while, she gave you her number and you returned to your table, you can let an hour go by and send her a funny message. You will probably make her laugh and complicity begins to form between you.

How to get a girlfriend? Part II: Getting the appointment

You already have their number and, to some extent, their interest. But losing it is very easy, and any mistake can take you out of your prospect landscape. You need to make an appointment quickly and generate expectation in it. In this second part, we will explain how to do it.

9. The reliable old woman: message and forget

It is not necessary to delve too deeply into this point, because the difficult thing is not to explain or understand it, but to put it into practice. The first message you send can be a funny emoticon (no kisses or hearts, much fewer eggplants), the little ghost of WhatsApp is always a good option.

But from there the real challenge begins. What to say to her without looking too interested in her? How do you keep her attention without boring or scaring her?

It is not about allowing 24 hours before responding to you. But don’t stay glued to the phone and don’t reply to each and every one of their messages right away. You have a life, right? Do you remember the part of the mystery?

It is not enough that you think well what you are going to write and then write it. If you write, erase, rewrite and erase a message before sending it, she will see the caption “writing…” for five minutes and will realize that you were rewriting the message when you only sent her two lines.

10. Ask her if she wants to go out with you (but not right away)

Don’t try to reach all of your immediate goals with a single mile-long text message where you go twenty rounds to finally ask her if she wants to go out with you. It’s more. Forget about asking her out for a day or two, and focus on exchanging fun and interesting messages with her.

She will surely be waiting for you to ask her out, but you should do it when she least expects it, suddenly and without thinking too much.

For example, if she tells you that the Japanese food in a certain restaurant is the best, tell her that it is probably because she does not know that other one that is your favourite and that it is imperative that he get out of her mistake. So, you stop by her Friday at seven?

Remember that your invitation always has to seem like the logical consequence of something she has said before. The continuation of an idea, not an isolated request.

For the first date, choose a relaxed and informal place where you can chat at ease. This makes you want to rule out noisy bars and movies at the outset. Dining out is a classic option, but it’s very hackneyed. Better go to a new place and have conversation starters.

A walk through the city centre, going to lunch at a restaurant in Chinatown and then going out to explore the surroundings, an art exhibition or even a night bike ride are original and fun alternatives.

 11. Start the date with a compliment that breaks the tension


Women can spend hours picking out a dress, putting on makeup, combing their hair, going back to change shoes at the last minute, etc. You will most likely spend forty minutes showering and with any luck shaving. But remember that she probably invested more time than you.

So, don’t let their dedication go unnoticed. You can keep the dynamic of teasing her a bit by saying something like “hey, you looked good last time, but not that good!”

12. Show her that your standards are high

One of the things you need to avoid is feeling like dating her is the best thing that could have happened to you. Show that your expectations are high. In other words, you expect the person you are dating to treat you with respect and value you.

For example, if she’s late for an appointment, don’t pretend you don’t care. Let them know that you’re not very good at handling tardiness, but don’t make a big deal out of it either. That will make it clear that you are someone whose time should be taken seriously.

A man of great value is a true gentleman, he treats women as ladies and the rest of the world as he would like to be treated. This does not mean that you should be formal with her, just apply with basic notions of punctuality, respect and courtesy.

Make it clear at all times that you expect the same.

13. Conversation topics to avoid

There are several conversation starters that you don’t want to cover on first dates. These are personal or sensitive issues that can end up making both of you uncomfortable. Avoid the following topics if you want a smooth first date:

Ex couples

Talking about ex-girlfriends, or worse, your vast catalogue of sexual partners, won’t make you seem any more interesting in their eyes. On the contrary, she will think that you do not take your relationships seriously and that women are mere trophies for you.

If a girl likes you, you don’t have to brag about it. Her very curiosity will make her imagine all your hypothetical ex-girlfriends.

If the conversation eventually leads to exes, the best thing you can do is keep it a mystery. Mention that your ex was an exceptional woman and that you wish her all the best even if the relationship didn’t end well. And change the subject.

Money issues

Mentioning that you have money to spare or that you’re in financial trouble is completely unnecessary on the first date. Choose a place that you can afford comfortably, do not take it to a place that costs you half of your savings and in which you can not repeat, because you will give a false idea of ​​your purchasing power.

Don’t presume what you have either. You want to like you, not fall in love with your wallet. Your financial situation is something you should only share when you start to form a relationship.

Complain about your job (or anything)

We all have things in our life that we don’t love. But spending the first date complaining about your job, your family, your ex, the situation in the country, or whatever, is not fun for anyone.

It’s okay to occasionally show that certain things bother you, especially when the two of you share a point of view. But don’t focus the conversation on the negative. And if things go wrong, find a way to take them lightly and with a sense of humour.

Religion and politics

Unless you both share the same religion and are devoted practitioners, or are militants in the same party, talking about religion or politics could lead you to offend one of their convictions without intention, but with ugly consequences.

Where are we going? What are we?

Never on the first date. If you are romantic and traditional and don’t like to drag things out unnecessarily, you can take a risk and ask her to be your girlfriend on the second date (we’ll get to that part). But don’t bring it up on the first date. Shows despair and insecurity.

Also try to stay away from phrases like “I like you” and “I love you.” That you like it is obvious and the “I love you” should be said in the right place and time, not hastily. We need not even mention that an “I love you” on the first date (and the second) is completely out of place.

14. Make her feel like the best version of herself

What determines that we love being with another person is not so much the fact that we like them, as the fact that we like ourselves when we are with them.

It is very simple. Imagine you are dating two separate girls and one of them is pretty and glamorous, but there are clearly some things about you that she doesn’t love. She does not laugh at your jokes and often criticizes your way of being.

Now imagine that the other girl is not as pretty or as arresting as the other. But it is clear that she likes to be with you, she laughs at everything you say and they also have a lot of things in common.

On the first date, even though she’s gorgeous, you’re going to feel anxious and uncomfortable all the time. On the contrary, in the second, even if she is not so attractive, you will feel so comfortable that you can be yourself at all times.

Now think about which of the two you would like to go out with on the second date. If you chose the second option, with which you feel more comfortable, you are equal to 95% of the people. So, this principle applies backwards as well. Make her comfortable with being who she is through your total acceptance.

15. Put a pinch of physical flirtation on the date

People who like each other tend to get close to each other like magnets. But be careful, jumping on her suddenly is not the best alternative if you do not want that exit to be the last.

Before we tell you what to do when physically flirting, we will tell you what not to do so that you avoid making her uncomfortable:

  • Don’t get physical right away. If the date has progressed well, more or less in the middle of it you can begin to give body signs of approach.
  • Don’t invade their personal space all the time. Maintain a dynamic of moving away and approaching little by little so that she doesn’t feel pressured.
  • Don’t start by touching her face or her waist. The best first contacts are those that take place in low “compromising” areas. The arms, from the shoulders to the hands, are the best alternative.
  • Do not try to kiss her unless she clearly shows that she wants to (looks you in the eyes, smiles very often, touches her hair, etc.)

Now, since you know what to avoid at the beginning, it is easy for you to deduce what you can do, when and how. Make sure that all approaches have a justification. You’re not really fooling anyone, but it’s easier for things to flow if you “remove a crumb” from her cheek, or take her hand to “look at her rings.”

Some other excuses you can use are:

  • Remove something stuck in her hair
  • High five and intertwine your fingers with hers for a second
  • Push her shoulder very gently when she is joking with you
  • Touch your back to indicate which way to go when distracted

Remember, analyze the context and it will reveal itself to you the best way to start making physical contact with her. If she reacts positively, you can gradually increase the intensity of the contacts, but always get closer and further away to generate expectation.

Once you are completely sure that she is also flirting with you, it is time to take advantage of all that sexual tension to close with an epic kiss.

How to get a girlfriend? Part III: Closing the deal

You have already reached the second of the goals. Have an unforgettable date with her. But now the most important part of the plan is missing: getting her to become your girlfriend and leaving everyone else out of the competition.

The last five steps on the list require a lot of tact and commitment on your part, but if you do it right, you have a great relationship for sure.

16. Make the big move and kiss her

There comes a time in every successful date when women go from wanting to feel respected and flattered, to wanting to feel completely desired. That point comes when she begins to receive all of your physical approaches naturally and flirt back.

In order to know if the moment has come, you have to take into account their personality. A very outgoing woman will tell you in a different way than a more shy one that she is ready for you to kiss her.

How do you know that the time has come to kiss an extroverted girl?

An outgoing girl flirts much more openly than a shy girl. She can tell you that she is ready for the next step by being very physical with you, but many choose to gradually increase their level of aggressiveness in the game plan.

That aggressiveness is usually a pretext to get close to you and tease you a bit. So take advantage of it and try to impose yourself. Gaze at her, take her by the shoulders and kiss her decisively.

How do you know that the time has come to kiss a shy girl?

This can be a bit trickier because introverted girls don’t usually give such clear signals. So, you have to be very attentive to how she reacts when you approach her. She may not come close to you, but if she doesn’t show any discomfort with your closeness, you can risk stroking her cheek.

If she does not withdraw, even more so, if she holds your gaze a little and smiles, it is time to go over to kiss her on the corner of her mouth with sweetness. If it goes well, you can go for the full-blown kiss.

Now let’s imagine the worst scenario: you go over to kiss her and she dodges you. It’s not the end of the world. Many men give up and never try again. But you will not be one of those and you will look for a second chance.

Depending on her character, you need to find a way to break the tension that caused that failed kiss. But never complain or be dramatic about it. Just let it run and pay more attention to the signals.

17. Don’t try to fix a second date right away

At the end of the first date, if everything has gone well, they will have had a wonderful afternoon, they may have kissed and, most importantly, she will be generating expectations about you in her head.

But you shouldn’t seem desperate trying to get together to date again. Say goodbye, tell her you had an amazing time, and let her be the one to ask you out next time. If you’re dealing with an introvert type, allow a couple of days to go and ask her out again.

If during the first outing it was difficult for you to approach because of the shyness of your date, in the second try to take her to a quieter place or where she feels more comfortable and in her element.

18. Keep the mystery

Although you want to establish a dating relationship, it is good that during the first days you are not so obvious about it. Or, to put it another way, don’t show her your entire game in one go.

What is not so easily given to us is usually what we value the most, so, while still being nice, try not to be so available and make her notice that your life is interesting and fun with or without her. This way, she will be much more likely to accept when you finally ask her to be your girlfriend.

Don’t forget that expressing your romantic interest to a girl too early is one of the prerequisites for ending up in the friend zone. Keep it casual and fun.

19. Make it official

They have one or two fun outings and a lot of messages on WhatsApp. The flirtation between you is evident and she seems very interested in knowing everything about you. Time to get serious.

When you ask a girl to be your girlfriend, you have to make it clear that you are doing it because she is special and not because you simply want to be with someone or you have nothing better to do.

Start by genuinely complimenting her. Then indicate that you would be honoured that she wanted to be with you and close by saying that you wanted something serious, lasting and real.

“Every moment that I spend with you I confirm that in addition to being beautiful you are intelligent, funny and noble. I would feel very lucky if you agreed to be my girlfriend. With you I would like to have something serious. What do you think? Do we give this madness a chance? “

If you analyze the previous paragraph, you will realize that, in addition to asking her to be your girlfriend, you make her feel good about herself and give her security, but at the same time you are inviting her on an adventure.

20. Let your confidence increase with experience

This point should perhaps come at the beginning of the list, but we leave it at the end so that you keep in mind all the previous steps and identify which one or which of them could cost you more work.

Make a list with all of them and put up the ones that you think are going to be more complicated for you and down those that you think you can specify without problems. Before you dive into the search for your soulmate, work on the social skills you haven’t mastered yet.

Other tips to get a girlfriend:

1.- Express what you want brilliantly. If you do it right, you will leave her speechless

Express yourself! Your “possible relationship” could end long before it started because of this point, it’s that simple!

Saying and doing what you really excel at can be easy, just identify what you are passionate about, and proceed.

Be yourself! Don’t try to appear like someone else, and naturally act the way you feel best.

What you should never do is lose your judgment by trying to please her.

I’ll explain it in another way, I don’t like reggaeton music, but my girlfriend loves it, I’ve learned to live with it, but I don’t listen to that music to try to impress her, does it make sense?

Don’t have multiple personalities! Women detect this immediately; There are those who behave in a way with some people, and when they are with others, they completely change their actions and ways of thinking.

This does not help you at all, what would happen if several people meet with whom you handle different criteria? You would conflict, and everyone would notice your falsehood.

Girls want someone who knows who they are, and what they are looking for in life.

2.- Establish exactly what your goals are in life, and clearly express where you want to go in life

Making money is good, and there is a sizeable group of women who take it into account, but we are not going to talk about it!

This point does not refer to the money you can have, rather we want to emphasize the qualities that make you an intelligent human being, with goals and objectives in life.

It is sexy when a man is passionate about something and really focused on achieving what he wants.

If you are the type of gentleman who is complacent at work, the kind that works all day without motivation, and without wanting to improve, not only is your career suffering, but your life is taking you down an uncertain path.

Take control of your desires, and fulfil your dreams!

Set yourself a long-term goal, for example: improve your physique, learn a new language, learn to play an instrument, read more books of your interest, among others.

With these types of goals, you will find yourself in the need to draw up a series of activities in order to achieve them, this will help you achieve your dream in a short time. And as an added attribute, you’ll have new topics to talk about when you’re together.

Likewise, it is very important that you let her talk, women love to do it! It is proven that they do it much more than men.

Use as a strategy to start the conversation, then allow her to express herself. Pay attention to what she says, and ask her about her life.

Your body position must show interest in what she wants to say to you, in this way you will be gaining many important points to reach her heart.

3.- You must respect and value women. Don’t be misogynistic

If you are the type of guy who invites a woman to dinner, and you casually comment on sexist jokes, like that it would be better for her to be “in the kitchen” rather than eating out, chances are you are still single!

Avoid at all costs the jokes and jokes that you would say when you are with your friends, I understand that when you are with your comrades these comments are funny, and they generate success in the conversation.

But when being with a woman, you must understand that there are topics that are better not to touch.

On the other hand, if you are the type of man who starts each date with unpleasant arguments, such as the boring story about the reasons why your ex left you, you will end up in a monologue about the bad taste in your mouth that your past relationships left you. and how you have come to hate women.

So obviously, what you have to wait for with these kinds of conversations is to just make it to the new year!

The girl you are dating will end up withdrawing her hopes of formalizing a relationship with you.

She won’t give up on finding someone who respects the opposite sex, and in fact, that’s what they are looking for.

If you have these kinds of problems, it is better to work on your attitude or to treat it with a professional.

Other things to avoid on your first dates are politics, illness, religion, and sex. In general, these topics generate controversy and cause differences between you.

So, for now, it touches other topics, and later (if everything goes as you both wish) there will be time to discuss deeper content.

4.- Invite the girl you like to go out like this


This is the part where many get nervous.You already know the girl you like, you are determined to ask her out and you want to know her better, be original when you are with her and treat her with respect!

Are you ready to be with her for a long time? well.

Do not plan dialogues, love does not work that way, what you can do is inform yourself about topics of interest, so that in moments of uncomfortable silence, you have something interesting to say.

It is better to invite her to do one of your activities or tell her that you want to take her to a place that you already know and that you would like them to go together.

This point is very important because it is easier for them to accept your invitation in this way than if you tell them to attend a daily or typical meeting place.

For example, it is preferable to say: “There is a cafe near here, I really like the frappe that they prepare there, and I would like to take you to try it, I know you will like it. Are we going tomorrow afternoon to take advantage of the sunset? and kill two birds with one stone?

In this way, you are adding a plus to the invitation, and you attract it to you.

The daily way that we have been taught to ask out is inefficient, because if you ask: “Do you want to go out with me to the movies?”

You leave the question open, in such a way that you give her the opportunity to reject you quickly (by the way, do not invite her to the cinema on the first date, this exit is supposed to be so that they get to know each other better, and in the cinema, there is no opportunity to talk).

Remember not to take her to an expensive place in principle, this does not work in her mind as we think, on the contrary, they misinterpret it.

Your girl will think that you are trying to buy her, or that you need expensive dinners to get to her level.

The most advisable thing is that you go to a place where you both feel comfortable, and you can be yourself. The conversation will be more fluid, and the experience will be more peaceful.

Before ending the appointment, set another date for you to meet again. I remind you that you don’t have to spend a lot of money to get out, the idea is that they get to know each other better.

5.- Take your girl to places that indicate that you want something serious

Dating is the basis of a future relationship, if you are building it with superficial outings that revolve around alcohol and sex, you are not sending the correct signals for the type of relationship you want.

They have to include the element of coexistence so that they get to know each other, and thus, you can make the decision about whether you really want to be with her, or if you like her way of being.

With this, you show her that you are truly interested in her and that you are a man who puts effort into relationships.Ask her out somewhere where they are sober, and prove that you can be charming without the whiskey.
Take her on dates during the day, to show her that sex is not your goal with her and that your real interest is precise “her!”

As the relationship progresses, introduce them to your friends, these are signals that you will be sending about your desire to have a long-term courtship, and thereby indicate that you are someone stable with whom they can be.

6.- Do not drink too much alcohol, so that you become an annoying drunk

You may think that drinking alcohol is unimportant, to the point of not being able to control your body, but you have to evolve!

If you know in advance how many drinks you can have with your friends until you are drunk. Then don’t do it!

You can share with them, and have fun healthy without ending up drunk.

Women are not impressed by that, on the contrary, it alienates them; Because what you’re really saying to your girl is that you can’t control that vice.

You will be sabotaging the conquest, and you will lose your chance. She will see you as a party junkie and will imagine being with you in that situation constantly.

As much as she loves you, she is going to wish she were not with you in those moments, because what a woman aspires to is “protection.”

While you lose control of the drink, she will be exposed to someone who knows how to drink calmly to live together and has limits with her way of drinking.

Nor do you speak ill of people or their jobs, it is possible that there is a family or friendship relationship between your girl and the person you are making the comment about, and immediately kill your opportunity.

7.- You must listen to her and pay attention to what she tells you

Men who are stable with a woman share one characteristic in common: they make them feel special.

If you are failing to inspire a woman’s feelings, you may be paying more attention to your feelings than to hers.

Many times, we are so interested in impressing the woman in front of us, that at the end of the appointment, we do not notice that we were the ones who were talking the most.

And we do not take the time to understand the tastes of our companion.

Take a breath, and let her express herself too!

The best way not to come off as an arrogant smug, who only talks about himself is to ask him questions.

Pay attention to what she tells you, and when she’s done, make a comment about it, so that she notices that your attention is full.

She will feel more connected to you, and you will be securing your second date, it is a win-win situation.

In short, look her in the eye when she talks to you, don’t be distracted or interrupted, they value this very much, it means that you respect her.

Try to have a posture with your shoulders and chest facing the girl, you will make her feel special, and you will create that confidence that she is looking for.

8.- Do not show despair

When a woman says that she is not attracted to “good guys”, what she really means is that the suitors who follow her put too much effort into the conquest, so much so that they end up filling her up.

If you become very insistent, and constantly send messages to her cell phone, you will be spoiling things, because you have to give her time to make her life, and meanwhile, you generate in her the feeling of missing you.

Lusting after a girl is perfectly normal and acceptable, but keep that emotion from dominating your life.

Women quickly perceive that despair in men, because you are emitting anxiety and fear at the same time, that does not attract them at all!

Think of it this way, in the animal kingdom the dominant male, and the alpha male, have the females they want and are not looking for them, on the contrary, the females are the ones who go after the most attractive specimen to procreate with the.

But for their part “beta males” are in search of females to reproduce.

This makes women think that if a man is very insistent (so much that he looks desperate) he is perceived as a beta male, that is, a man insecure of himself.

The opposite of a dominant male who does not need to be behind females.

Focus on following your hobbies and interests, build a personality through which you motivate any woman to want to be with you, instead of trying to build a life around a partner.

Seek that your interests are also attractive, you can contemplate the idea of ​​looking for sports to practice, martial arts, or hobbies. So when talking about these, generate interest to whoever you are commenting on.

It is not the same to have the urban bicycle as a hobby, where you can invite her to share that taste of yours, to show her your collection of stamps.

Photography is an excellent option, learn to master the camera, and tell her to take photos together in different places in the city, you can also motivate her to pose as a model for your portfolio.

With this you can generate another appointment, to show you the best images they have obtained. Then you give her, her photos and you look like a real heartthrob.

9.- You must satisfy her in bed

If your skills are only out of bed, pay attention to this and start doing something about it, to find out what is going on under the covers.

Sex is an important way to connect with a woman.

They may have good chemistry with their clothes on, but you are neglecting a very important aspect of the courtship because what she wants is to have a monogamous relationship with you.

For this reason, when having sex, they will have to be explosive.

If you have had a false idea that just showing off her, and having sex with your partner is enough to please her, correct this way of thinking, put your selfishness aside and worry that she also enjoys that moment.

There are different methods to excite and please a woman in bed, look for techniques to give her oral sex, and sexual positions in which she is the one who has more pleasure.

When a woman is satisfied with her intimate life, her mind cannot stop thinking about the person who gives her that pleasure, her man immediately becomes a superhero, and she will not go out to look for others in order to feel fulfilled.

Take on the task of searching the Internet for different ways to make your girl happy (as far as sex is concerned) the results will shock you.

And you will be the biggest beneficiary, because she will feel indebted to you, and you will be pleased if you ask her for something.

10.- You must be sure of yourself

This is about how you feel about yourself. If you think your thoughts are getting in the way of your style, then they surely are!

Women are not interested in men who have self-esteem problems, they do not pay attention to men who need something outside of them, in order to feel confident about themselves.

What they are really looking for is someone who is completely convincing and projects that confidence with their words, and their body position.

They want the protection of an alpha male, and if you are not transmitting those signals, it is very difficult for any of them to notice you.

It is a matter of the conservation instinct of the species, by nature we look for the best specimen to procreate, we do not control that!

But, what we can manage is our self-esteem, and to pay attention to the way we move, and express, because the first impression comes through the eyes!

Look at the posture you are in at the moment, observe your hands, spine, legs, and your head, what we are thinking, and how we feel we express it through our body.

Align your head with your spine, slightly make your shoulders back, breathe calmly, that the movement of your body is slow but sure.

The signals that she will receive with this is that you have complete control of the situation and that she can trust you with her safety.

11.- Look for love in the right woman


We will not say that it is impossible to find the love of your life in a bar, because it could happen.

But if you keep frequenting the same place every weekend, and you notice that there are no results, or you only find one-night stands and after that, you never see her again in your life. This place is not giving you good results in finding a stable relationship.

You have to think outside the box, force yourself out of your comfort zone. Keep in mind that you only live once.

Join a dating website, swallow your pride, and ask a friend to invite friends of the opposite sex to go out as a group, so you have the option of meeting more girls.

Spend more time in book stores, take classes that interest you, join groups or clubs to meet women with the same tastes as you.

Get out of the routine, and out of your house to broaden your horizons, and you will be able to see the variety of females around you, remember that the more things you have in common, the easier coexistence will be.

A bar is the worst place, because in those areas they have high defences, because the men who approach them are generally taken, and it is more difficult to deal with this barrier.

The music in these places is also characterized by being loud, and this hinders communication between you.

On the other hand, women go to bars in groups, and to be able to talk to your “target girl” will be more difficult. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but take it into account.

12.- You must be ready for commitment in a relationship

If you have read the previous points, and you do not feel identified with them, it is possible that women do not want to spend long periods of time with you.

You can be super charming, or someone that women seek out on dates, but if you aren’t interested in monogamy, smart women won’t seek you out.

Without realizing it, men give signals of our interests, and also “red flags” about whether or not we want to have a formal commitment to a girlfriend.

But sometimes, confusing interpretations happen. Or what is the same, the signs are crossed!

You think you are playing with indifference, putting little effort into the relationship; And she may assume that you are involved with someone else, or that you just want an affair.

Sometimes, in an attempt to defend yourself, you tell him that you don’t want a formal relationship, or commitments when you really want the opposite.

Be realistic with yourself about what you are looking for! And don’t send confusing signals that could be misunderstood, or scare her.

But if you are up for anything, and determined to get a girlfriend, carry out the above steps with full awareness.

A relationship is something that you have to take care of, and constantly nurture so that it grows and you can talk about future plans together.

If you liked what you read, share it with your friends or better yet, add it to your Facebook wall. Our mission is to be your allies when it comes to love.

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