Does having sex on the first date ruin the chances of a relationship?

7 Mins read

Many people, especially women, believe that having sex on the first date can potentially ruin a relationship in the future. Men, in their particular case, would be delighted to get some action the first time they date a woman.

All this for sure has ever put you at a crossroads because you have not found explanations or data to help you see how far there is hope for a more serious relationship if you decide to go to bed with someone on the first date.

If you want to know more about this interesting topic, I invite you to continue reading this article so that you have all the information about it and know what to do.

Does sex on the first date ruin your chance of dating? 

The truth is that there is no concrete answer, everything will depend on the context, especially on the conceptions you have about sex and how responsible you are when doing it.

Some publications claim that just by talking about sex on the first date, there is an indication of interest on the part of the two people that could go beyond a night in bed.

Continuing to talk about the subject encourages a deeper conversation, sometimes with the desire not to have so many clothes on, which makes there a bit of clarity about what the other is looking for and what we can expect after having sex on the first date.

What do men think if you go to bed on the first date?

It depends on the man and his intention. Some men do not look bad at him if you slept with them on the first date if their intention is to have something more serious, and there are other men who are only looking to have something casual and not looking for a formal relationship. There are also other men who look down on the woman who goes to bed on her first date more if they think they have done the same with many other men.

Is it bad to have sex on the first date?

It is incredible that in the 21st century we continue to question whether it is right or wrong for two adults to have consensual sex the first time they go out together. But love and sex are still very sensitive issues in this society.

Normally no one is going to criticize a man for having sex on the first date, while in the case of women the opposite happens. When she agrees to such a thing, she often risks being seen by others as an “easy” girl who is not worth something serious with.

It doesn’t really matter what other people think. The real problem comes when it’s that someone you slept with ends up thinking that you gave in very quickly to their request, something that he also encouraged and enjoyed. And the worst of all is that he loses interest in you.

For millennia, women have been educated to be “difficult” and thus not lose the attention of a man, while men have been taught to see women as “prizes” to be obtained.

In a somewhat assertive attempt to counteract these macho cultural patterns, many girls now feel compelled to have sex on the first date, even if they really don’t want to; somehow they do it to make it clear that they are independent and can make decisions.

But what is wrong is not to have sex on the first date, it is to seek it or avoid it based on these ways of thinking that have nothing to do with the genuine chemistry, attraction and trust that should exist between two people who are attracted to each other.

It is not bad that you have sex on the first date, what is bad is that you have it without being fully sure that you really want to do it or that, on the contrary, you do it by putting pressure on the other person when they are not totally comfortable with the matter.

Once we have determined that having sex on the first date is not something to which we can apply a value judgment in a generic way, we must also accept that doing so can have pros and cons and that everything will depend on the context.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of having sex on the first date?

If two people really like each other and there is sexual chemistry between them, surely as the date progresses they will both be thinking about the possibility of ending up in bed.

This happens quite frequently, in fact. But the reality is that in many cases one or both of them think that it is not a good idea. Several, even if they feel like it, prefer to wait; however, others give free rein to their wishes.

Beyond prejudices and macho conceptions, the best thing, for both men and women, is not to give in to the desire if there is not full conviction if there is no maturity in this regard.

Why not have sex on the first date? – Possible disadvantages

If you decide to have sex the first time you go out, you should be aware that you may be faced with less than pleasant scenarios, including:

Loss of interest

Both you and the other person may experience a sudden loss of interest after having sex on the first date. In general, the one who loses interest after something like this is the one who considers that getting sex is the goal of dating someone.

If there is no genuine interest in the other human being, once we know and have enjoyed their body, we will automatically want to move on to something else, we will feel like they have nothing else to offer us, and we will want to get rid of him or her quickly.

The common thing has been that this happens to men, but every day it happens more to women. The reality is that regardless of gender, if one of you loses interest after going to bed on the first date, it means that the relationship had no chance of prospering anyway.

Unpleasant surprises


If you’ve only dated someone once, it’s perfectly logical that you don’t know almost everything about their life, even if you feel a deep and cosmic connection. It’s sad, but it’s just your hormones and your expectations talking to you, but it’s not reality.

Perhaps at the time of sex you discover things that you do not like at all about your adventure partner. It could be issues like his body hygiene or maybe he will tell you something that reveals a facet of his personality that you did not know and that disappoints you.

You could end up having sex with someone who lives with their parents, in the next room or who lets you pay the entire hotel bill without your planning.

There are many things that can go wrong when you are intimate with someone you don’t know well. Not to mention, in the worst case, it can even be dangerous. If you decide to venture into something like this, make sure there is always a friendship that knows where you are and with whom.


When two people go out for a few weeks and the relationship progresses progressively, both have a clearer view of the other’s position on what to expect in the short term.

If someone has already taken the time to go out with you three or four times without sex, chances are they have a genuine interest in you and are looking for a relationship.

If you end up in bed with someone on the first date, you will have no way of knowing, because almost all of us find it strange to ask the typical and extremely uncomfortable “what are we?” And much more after a hasty intimate encounter.

If there is not enough communication, it can take a lot of work for both parties to open up about what they really hope and want.

Why if you have sex on the first date, what are the advantages?

Not all the picture is apocalyptic. Lots of stable and happy couples ended up in bed on the first date and neither of them regrets it at all.

Having sex on the first date can be wonderful, especially when the chemistry is strong and you just can’t stop thinking about getting naked. This is so because there is a frank and open communication between them and they feel comfortable, safe and euphoric.

Of course, they have to be two responsible adults who know what they are doing and, of course, who is going to take care of themselves and use a condom. That should never be in dispute. If a person insists on having unprotected sex, it is because they are not trustworthy and you should never agree, period.

It is very difficult to list the advantages of having sex on the first date with someone you really like, because they are exactly the same as any incredible sexual encounter, but it has two particular additions:

More adrenaline

When you sleep with someone you are just beginning to date, the emotion you feel for such an unexpected encounter is different from what you might feel when it is already planned or expected.

Doing something like this has all the hints of madness and adventure that the heart needs to beat a thousand per hour, especially when you feel a true connection with the other.

Fewer expectations

Usually, if you happen to sleep with someone on the first date, you do it with fewer expectations about what that moment will be like. The fewer expectations you have, the more difficult it is for something to disappoint you or not be at the level you expected.

How long to make a man wait to have sex?

Many recommend 5-10 dates for intercourse.

Should you sleep with a man on the first date?

After reading all this information, you should know that good first date sex experiences tend to be incredible, but bad ones are usually horrendous, there are no middle points.

Regardless of all the above, the only thing that really matters is what you want and that you take care of yourself, that you do not give in to social pressure or stereotypes.

Now we want to know your opinion: what do you think about having sex on the first date? Have you ever done it? How was your experience? Leave us your comment and I will gladly answer you.

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